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Post by Seiryou Shinjou on Feb 16, 2005 12:07:59 GMT -5
Blackfyre Evolution: Shawn Argyle
-=He puts his pocket protector in his pocket, pushing up his glasses on the massive mound of tape in the middle=- "Uhhh huhhh...i like erics idiocy. i laugh cuz he funny. brb, need to go feed my pet tarantula, albert. ok back. uh eric is gay. i have no life, but he gay. lolz" -=He takes the glasses off, tossing them to the side=- Go back to pre-school, nerd, and shut your mouth. As for you, "Guest", it looks like someone doesn't have the balls to go under his real name. So why don't you all sit back, relax, and I'll tell you another story. A story about a kid named Shawn Argyle.
-=He begins pacing around, holding the mic up to his mouth=- Shawn's story starts in a small town somewhere in America, where little boys and girls have aspirations to be something great. Now I know the definition of 'great' is a bit different down there, but most became truck drivers, crack addicts, and 2 dollar whores. Shawn was going to go into the family business of sex for money, but found out that he could actually get paid -not- to have sex, if he would just try and hit on the women (or men, since you like Erik Estrada from Chips so much). So with some money from girls and guys paying Shawn to leave them alone, Shawn decided to drown his sorrows in the fast-paced world of the internet. There, he aspired to be the greatest there was, and for everyone else, Shawn Argyle was going to achieve that goal. He was going to be the best there ever was...until he realized that he sucks, and no one respects a guy who lost to Terry. But Shawn struggled on, trying to play the hero against me when I went heel. We commenced in a heated battle, an epic encounter that can only be described as..simply amazing. Ah, who am I kidding? I Rock Bottomed his ass my first turn, kipped up to my feet, and dusted my vest off for him -daring- to get it dirty. Shawn was distraught, realizing the horrifying truth: He, like so many before him, was not going to be the best. He was a loser, and he had nothing but his stuffed animal he named Juicebox in honor of his mothers stripper name.
No one really knows what drives Shawn..perhaps he's jealous. Perhaps he has nothing better to do. Perhaps he thinks this will make his testicles drop. No one knows for sure, but I do know this: Shawn Argyle is a woman of the people, a woman we can be proud of. So how will Shawns story end? Well, it'll hit Rock Bottom if he makes good on his IRL promise to 'whupp my ass'. Fact is, I own you too, Shawn, and if you want to fight; Bring it. -=He tosses the mic at Shawns chest=- Take it easy, FiFi, and go wash your ass.
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Post by Seiryou Shinjou on Feb 16, 2005 12:09:53 GMT -5
Rewquethin: Everyone
-He begins to pace back and forth, keeping the shades on over his eyes, slowly unscrewing the cap to his bottled water. He holds his hand up as if to say 'hold on', taking a quick sip to relieve his dry throat- First of all, I've already written a post with this title, but some ass-monkey decided to reply to it with some incoherent ramblings. I've been around almost 2 full years now, and in my day, I've seen some really stupid shit. I've seen Wes claim to be a legend. I've seen Thalia's picture..-He stops for a moment, obviously thrown off by that-. Hell, I've even seen a chatroom with -no- whores in it, but this right here has to take the cake. Since I've been back to my normal self, -everyone- is going to start the new rp site. I've had Ray tell me he's going to start the new big rp site. Shawn Argyle told me he's going to start the new rp site. I even got an email from Brian (Iron Kirby "Blushies"), that sick freak, saying -he's- going to start the new big rp site. -He stops for a moment, looking out towards the people- This 4 year old kid in the crowd just said -he's- going to start the new rp site. What you people fail to realize is, you're not getting anywhere. You took the format I started with Blackfyre, and you ran with it. Same forums, same general ideas, same everything. Each and everytime, you get shut down like it's nothing.
-He tilts his head over towards Shawn, raising his eyebrow- What in the -hell- do you know about running a roleplay site? "Uh I know what to do Eric, I copied it right from your site, so it must work" Ah shut up, Shawn, you're an idiot. How many times does someone need to slap you upside the head for you to realize that Proboards -isn't- secure? I'm not here to rain on the rp parade, because I'd just torch this place if that was the case. The fact is, you're doomed to repeat the same mistakes, and suffer the same fate if you keep doing the same thing over and over again. Your site is only as strong as your leader, and let me ask you all this: Do you really think this guy -He points over to Shawn, slowly walking around him- with his 75 cent flannel shirt, goofy golf pants, and SuperCuts haircut, is going to lead you to a site that isn't going to be destroyed? If I had my vote, it would be on the 4-year old in the crowd instead. Take into account what I said, and if you need help, let me know.
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Post by Seiryou Shinjou on Feb 16, 2005 12:16:00 GMT -5
Blackfyre Evolution: Shawn Argyle & Drew -=He raises his left hand from his side to adjust his shades on his face, screwing the cap back on his bottle of water=- Now I've been around for quite awhile, but never have I seen someone so intimidating before. Jodo Kast, in all his glory, was one intimidating son of a bitch. Ray, the cross-dressing roleplayer. Don't worry, Platypus, your secret is safe with me. But Shawn, you've done something none of those people can compare to. Something that has never been done before..ever: You've managed to look like Dorothy from the Golden Girls sitcom. I don't know whether to ask you to knit me a sweater, or whupp your ass. You walk around, running your mouth about how you're going to 'take me down'. When you get back from the gynecologist, and after you're done playing Bingo, then maybe we can talk, Tanto. See, Shawn invited me to come to a 'get together' of their community, so he could 'humiliate' me infront of everyone if I came. People like Terry, the kid who seems like he smoked himself retarded, The Cross-Dressing Platypus, and a bunch of other assorted nerds. What were you going to do anyways, Shawn? Attack me with your designer purse, spray your perfume on me, and lay down your Digimon cards, yelling “Attack, Nerdamon, go!”? You're fake, no one likes you, you look like an old lady, and you're about as prime to take me down as Alexandra Carlson is to looking womanly, Fifi. -=He adjusts the vest over his chest, setting his water down on the ground next to him=- Now as far as you go, Drew, I would have put your picture on here, but your fat oafy-ass can't fit in the confines of this post. Do you actually think you're fooling anyone with your assortment of alter egos? Roberto, the college roommate who thinks he's Martha Stewart, and plays with flowers all day. Santos, the dirty mexican that somehow smells worse than you. Steve, the cross-dressing alcoholic. Do you honestly believe anyone buys any of this? Terry, maybe? “uuuuhhhh still busy floggin dolphin. Drew cool is, he suck cock as do much i”. We'd eventually figure it out anyways, because if we weren't tipped off by your rotund figure, or your horrendous trailor park body odor, we'd still see that pink toy lightsaber of yours. Drew is the kind of kid who goes into public, like a movie store, and re-enacts the scenes to movies while attacking the employees because he thinks they're stormtroopers. And what's this about you going to college and being a security guard? Drew apparently applied to guard the Hostess food snacks warehouse at nights, and we all know why. Anyone tries to steal his cakes, and he smacks them with his plastic pink lightsaber. It's as simple as this; Drew is an idiot. He's 6 feet 200 tons of twinkies of pure idiot. You put his brain in a parakeet, and Zing! Fly backwards. -=He takes a seat on the stool next to him, reaching over to grab his guitar to place on his lap=- Now it's been awhile, but I figured the Ambigiously Gay Duo needed a song written about them. Something that touches the soul. Now here's a cover of the song “My Immortal”, performed by that group with the chick in it that starts with an “E”. Goes something like this: There's just a special bond between you and I... Two nerds brought together by a common love... Shawn, you like it from the bottom... And I like to take it from above.... Those late nights at the arcade... Our fights used to tear us away... I'd smack your ass with my lightsaber... And the people would think we were too gay... These wounds won't seem to heal... Our Pokemon battles are just too real... I just can't beat your Pikachu... When your Pokemon died, I'd wipe away all of your tears, When you'd scream, I'd pull it out directly from your rear... I don't care what the other people will say... You and I are still...gaaaaaaayyy.... Those days we used to hold each other... And you told me I was your older brother... The people just can't relate.... I really believe it's fate... That night when I gave you that heart-shaped cookie, I love you more than Cecilia the Dutch Wookie... When your Pokemon died, I'd wipe away all of your tears, When you'd scream, I'd pull it out directly from your rear... I don't care what the other people will say... You and I are still...gaaaaaaayyy.... -=He tries to hold back the tears welling up, his head shaking=- Oh man..it's so sad how I own you two so badly... 
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Post by Seiryou Shinjou on Feb 16, 2005 14:39:40 GMT -5
Blackfyre Evolution: Shawn Argyles "Farewell"
Dear Kristen,
Alot of things have been going on. But that is not what matters. Let me warn you. This will be a fairly long message. If you want to read it.. ok if not I understand. I want to tell you a little story. Six years ago I first got online and started my Net life. For an entire year I strived to escape reality and become one of the in crowd. I was truthful and honest to everyone.. and I was rejeced and shunned.
I was stupid and foolish much like I was until recently. I made up an online identity. Shawn Argyle. Shawn being my real first name and Argyle being my new online last name. I made myself older and more interesting. Spawning lie after lie, building up a life on the net from these lies. After about two years I had forgotten what it was life before. I was considered a freind to most and overall cool. The lies didnt seem like lies they seemed like my new reality. And for more years they continued to build up before my own stupidity blind sided me.
Then.. Eric came along. I wanted to be on top. And I challenged him time after time. Soon you came into my life. I origionally saw you as part of rp. both you and andy. Then I fell for you soon after.. and we got together. Meanwhile I was also with Jen. I considered her more like a sister than anything else. But I did not have the heart to tell her... so I lead her on and kept it from you. Then Eric made a move I had not expected. A person i once thought to be a freind fed him enough information for him to find you... and tell you and jen everything. And turna ll my friends against me. And that leads to my dissapearance.
Eric beat me... he ruined my online life. Or so I thought. The truth is I ruined it. I was blind to the truth about what I had done. I lied...I cheated... and deceived alot of people. I deserve what I got. Exile. Hated. It goes on. But I aparently have one thing still... the main thing i dont deserve. Your Love. Even through all that I have done you say you still love me. Even the thing with Jen. I have not talked to her since before Eric spread the word.. but I think she knows. Kristen both of you deserve better.
The net ruins your life... rping.. net lives and dateing.. it sucks you in and dosent let go. The Truth is Eric freed me. Kristen. I love you with all of my heart. And so I offer you this advice. Let me go... let your online life and freinds go and live in reality. Ive recently found truth in the words "Life is what you make of it." I wish I could tell jen.. ray and all my other former freinds this. Kristen.. I love you.. but.. this is the closure you wanted.
Goodbye Kristen...
~fin~
"Fin". What a fucking homo.
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Post by Seiryou Shinjou on Feb 16, 2005 14:43:25 GMT -5
Rewquethin: Eric Encounters Terry
-He removes the shades from his eyes, tucking them into his pocket, taking out the bottled water from the table behind him, coughing- Ah, excuse me. I thought I'd just take out the water, clear the throat, and be able to do it the -right- way before Jumping Jack over there emulates me anymore. Now let me get this straight, Terry, or Wally, whatever the fuck you're going by these days; You're calling -me- pathetic? Look at you. You're -nothing-. 5 feet nothing. 100 lbs of nothing. Hey, hold on a second. It's my cell phone. -He digs into his pocket, unfolding the the cell- Hey, it's Nothing, he says he knows you. -He puts the phone back in his pocket, rolling his shoulders forward- What are you going to do? What kind of roleplay example are you? You're probably on your way out to sell band candy after you read this. Infact, since you're so good at typing, I'm going to see if I can emulate -you-.
-He removes the vest from his chest, putting on a 'cool' skater shirt, grabbing and putting on a wig so he'd have some goofy punk hair- "uh ur funny eric -laughs hard- i can't listen you cuse im 2 busy flogging dolphin. -laughs again sipping soda- this great really is. now i can be cool like great one with my bottled water power rangers lunchbox and playskool cell phone. -smiles showing more metal in mouth than tank- imma rolepayer!" -He removes the wig from his head, dusting the shirt off- Now get your Wally-Cleaver ass on out of here.
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Post by Seiryou Shinjou on Feb 16, 2005 14:44:18 GMT -5
Solaris: The Infamous "Texas Skank" Promo
-He starts walking back and forth, his bottled water in hand, laughing pretty hard at the rant he just read- Wooooo boy, look at that title, people. "Dark Days...in my ass!!". First your little boyfriend proclaims his love for taking it in the ass, and now you? I can picture you two at your shack, just after finishing your hiyaaa kung fu crap. Now we all know how well I can act, so let the Great One give you alittle taste of his skills here. -He rolls his shoulders a bit, taking off his vest to go bare-chested, sucking in everything and slouching his shoulders, getting a gangsta-high pitched voice going-
Yo 'beau', did Sharky call yet? Me and Rey-Rey are supposed to go act ghetto with him infront of the Dairy Queen, and battle rap some 5 year old to feel better.
-He brings his arms up to pull his ears out as far as they go, getting a dumbfounded look on his face- See beau, we're so much more 'phasisticated' than those rp nerds. I'mma go ask Josh and Eric how to please you again, since you asked them already, and head off to be 'cool' and 'fresh' with my 'niggas'.
-He breaks character for a minute, looking up above at the picture- Jesus christ girl, you've got just as much hair under your arms as I do. And what the hell are you going to do in that pose? You want to do the Macarana with the Great One? Now let me see if I can get this ridiculous pose down -He stands up on his right leg, bending his left inwards towards his right knee, raising his right arm up, and putting his left arm down near his midsection. He looks down under his right arm to see if he has enough hair there- Well you caught me off guard. I wasn't prepared to have that much hair under my arms, you hairy -freak-. You look that retarded, and have hair under your arms, and you're making fun of -these- people? Back to the scene here..can't deny the people of my acting, bay-beh.
Ya'll gonna do what? You should be out looking for a job..and so should I. You got turned down because you look goofy, and I got turned down because of my body hair. And yay! Ask Eric and Josh how to please me, because last time you hit the wrong hole, silly. These rp people are sooooo gay. What's this IM on the screen? Oh, I'm talking to the Great One!
th36reat0ne: So what's up?
deeperthandreams: Nothing, unfortunately. Everyone's in bed now so everything has just calmed down. I havent told you, my little nervous thing seems to be getting "the best" of me, lately. I cant sit still anymore.
deeperthandreams: I can never not do anything. It drives me crazy.
th36reat0ne: So instead you're watching me, and playing with yourself
th36reat0ne: Nice replacement
deeperthandreams: Better watching you than We-.... I wont say it.
Eeeeeee! I was -just- kidding, though! I only pretend to want the Great One to make myself look like a total whore. Hey, what the hell is that smell? -He leans his arm up, still pretending to be her, sniffing his armpit- Wooo, Wes, how do you do it, baby? If I was with a girl this hairy, I'd freak out! Eeeeee! When you get back, we're going to make this a dark day in my ass, just like I like it!
-He breaks character, getting out of that stupid pose, slipping his vest back on over his chest- I'm going to be talking like a hick for a week after doing that crap -He clears his throat, shrugging his shoulders forward to get all settled, his neck craning to the side for a moment- If I had to act like that everyday, I'd kick my own ass. So what exactly was your point in that post? All I heard was "Blah blah blah blah I'm a dirty tramp blah blah blah". You're almost 19, you don't have a job, you're dating -Wes-, you like it up the ass, and you're the biggest 2 dollar skank this place has ever seen. "Blah blah blah I'm still a dirty tramp" Just shut your mouth. You have no room to make fun of these people at all. It's like you yelling at some other girl for being ugly, and when you raise your arm to point out her flaws, she realizes she's got you beat. Ah, it's distracting the hell out of me. -He leans over to grab a razor and some Gillette, handing it over to her- It's like the mole that guy had in Goldmember. Atleast now I understand why you played that guy 'Dave' in the roleplay awhile back. If you want, I'll give that talent relations guy a call and tell him you can do multi-gender acting.
So what's the deal with this "Hidden Tiger Crouching Skank" thing, anyways? Are you two supposed to be all tough now or something? What're you two going to do, throw your tampons at me? Oh, let me show you something that really hurts. Alittle fighting lesson from the Great One, instead of your little chicken-ass girlfriend Wes. -He steps around his stool to walk infront of her, grabbing the razor from her hand- Hey hey, don't get excited over there. We all know how much you want the Great One, but he's got rules about letting wookies touch him. Now what you do, is you bang your chest with your fists like an angry gorilla, and run towards your opponent making this sound. It's the wookie call. Come on, all hairy girls know how to do it. I'll even help you out -He tips his head up into the air, making the Chewbacca sound- damn, you were scary enough just being ugly, but now you're even beginning to intimidate me with that stuff. I can see it now "Girl in Houston mugged by man; Scares him off with beastly looks and mating call". You'd be famous.
-He walks around for a moment, looking back to the picture overhead- ....What in the -hell- is that? "Hiyyyyaaa, I'm a skank, wu-tah!" I don't think you and Wes could get through a spar, because you'd be sitting there like "Rawr! I'm so dirty, Wes, come get me! Tee-Hee!" and Wes would be like "Duuuurrr...uuhh...duuurrr...uhhh...let me find my penis first"Look at you, arms up, all serious. You look like a cross-dressing chicken with hippy hair. Now shave those arms before the bears down in Texas get jealous.
-He tosses her the razor back, walking back over to sit on his stool, grabbing his guitar from the case, setting it on his lap- Ah now here we go. Sing a long with the Great One time, bay-beh. You're from Texas, you know all about that country sooooul, so I'll give you a bit of your 'home cookin' here.
"You can't just sit there down on your luck,
Ask your 'ma', there's a whole lot of dick to suck,
Just because the rpers won't put out no more,
Doesn't mean you need to stop being a whore,
They just crave some dignity and some class,
Instead of you and "Eeeee! Free space in my ass!"
Whatever happenened to the clean little slut?
Now she's a 'cool' and only takes it up the butt,
Texas Skank, come hooome to meeeeeee,
Now you're a whore on the T...Veeeee,
Breakin' my heart like I know you could,
Cheatin' on poor ol' Wes cause he can't get wooood
Dark days are always pretty scary,
Especially when you're ugly as hell, and incredibly hairy,
You're so damn cool, what's your goal?
"Yo Wes you butt pirate, that's the wrong hole"
Spendin' time with Dumbo over there?
So you can look goofy with kung fu and shave each others hair?
Texas Skank, come hooome to meeeeeee,
Now you're a whore on the T...Veeeee,
Breakin' my heart like I know you could,
Cheatin' on poor ol' Wes cause he can't get wooood"
-He stands up to his feet, clapping his hands together, taking a long sip of his water- That country music just gets the adrenaline pumpin', bay-beh. So what I was trying to say was that you're a dirty 2 dollar whore, you're worthless, no one likes you, and Alf has seen better days than you, even from the rear like you like it. To all you girls out there, this is the lowest standard to go for. If you've got teeth, or atleast one of them, and you're all there 'down south'. you're already ahead of her. -Laughs- I think that's enough, but take it easy. You know, since you're -so- much cooler than everyone else and all
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Post by Seiryou Shinjou on Feb 16, 2005 14:47:59 GMT -5
Blackfyre II: Tribute to Rai
-He takes a seat on the stool behind him, taking his guitar in his hands, setting it lightly on his lap- Now it's a rarity that I sing a song nowadays, but I was inspired the other day by a certain someone. This song is a sob story about a girl named Rai, a local whore who just can't keep her hands off the Great One. For Rai, I did a cover of Seether featuring Amy Lee: Broken. Hey, it was the only one I figured that was really mainstream right now. Goes something like this:
I wanted you to knooow,
That I love the way you loooook,
I want to hold your money high,
And take your sexual tension..awwaaay
I keep your screen name up top,
So I can steal your sexual tension awwaay..
Because I'm eeeeeasssy
When I'm whoooring,
And I don't feeeeel right,
When you're not bending me over
The worst is over now,
And we can sleep together again,
I want to hold your money high,
And take your sexual tension awwaaay,
I'm so looooooonesome,
And I'm reaalllly cheaaap,
My hooker name is Raaaaaaaai
Because I'm eeeeeasssy
When I'm whoooring,
And I don't feeeeel right,
When you're not bending me over
I call it "A Tribute to a Whore: The Rai Story". Man, I missed doing that.
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Post by Seiryou Shinjou on Feb 16, 2005 16:53:39 GMT -5
"Special Ed Site": The Birth of "Hammie"
-Mercy Drive's "Burn Inside My Light" suddenly hits the small crowd, interrupting the two idiots from talking, stepping out onto the rampway, making a quick descent down towards where the idiots were. He stepped through the ropes, walking past the internets version of Louie Anderson and everyones favorite desperate whore, "Lise". He stepped up on the middle ropes, raising his tattooed right arm into the air, his hand balled into a fist. He held the pose for a few moments, turning from his stance to look at the two morons behind him. He stepped down, walking past Louie to grab the mic from his fat-ass hands- So this is the Special Education roleplay site, huh? You got the Hamburlger over here, who can't take his eyes off the damn kitchen because his cheeseburger is still in the microwave. Try the nuggets, you fat sum'bitch. And then you've got this fine lookin'...no, you don't have anything over here, really. Just some desperate two-dolla ho who is so out of her fucking mind, she thinks Shawn Argyle is 'hot'. If I could get WeightWatchers and Jerry Springer to sponsor this place, I'd make millions. The fact is, you guys are wasting your time. No one cares about Castle Junglebunny, Hammie. I thought you retired when I whupped that fat ass all over the place, but here you are again. Shawn Argyle, you run around and blame everything bad that happens in your life on the Great One. The fact your first babytooth just fell out was my fault. Your lack of male genitalia is my fault. You cheating on Yoko Ono over here is also my fault. So to get away, you create a site for all your 4 friends, and hope for the best, huh? -He stops for a moment, lowering the mic- What in the hell are you doing? Put that turnbuckle down, Hammie. That's not for eating. So Shawn Argyle, you delete your friends site, you cheat on your girlfriend, and then you lie about it and say it was "All the Great Ones fault". A screenshot of Paul's profile on your old site with your email in place of his doesn't look too good if you want to blame it on me. And as for your little cheat-fest, I live in Maryland, so "PST" doesn't apply to me at all. You really should just leave again, though. Let me show the people your last 'farewell' letter:
Dear Kristen,
Alot of things have been going on. But that is not what matters. Let me warn you. This will be a fairly long message. If you want to read it.. ok if not I understand. I want to tell you a little story. Six years ago I first got online and started my Net life. For an entire year I strived to escape reality and become one of the in crowd. I was truthful and honest to everyone.. and I was rejeced and shunned.
I was stupid and foolish much like I was until recently. I made up an online identity. Shawn Argyle. Shawn being my real first name and Argyle being my new online last name. I made myself older and more interesting. Spawning lie after lie, building up a life on the net from these lies. After about two years I had forgotten what it was life before. I was considered a freind to most and overall cool. The lies didnt seem like lies they seemed like my new reality. And for more years they continued to build up before my own stupidity blind sided me.
Then.. Eric came along. I wanted to be on top. And I challenged him time after time. Soon you came into my life. I origionally saw you as part of rp. both you and andy. Then I fell for you soon after.. and we got together. Meanwhile I was also with Jen. I considered her more like a sister than anything else. But I did not have the heart to tell her... so I lead her on and kept it from you. Then Eric made a move I had not expected. A person i once thought to be a freind fed him enough information for him to find you... and tell you and jen everything. And turna ll my friends against me. And that leads to my dissapearance.
Eric beat me... he ruined my online life. Or so I thought. The truth is I ruined it. I was blind to the truth about what I had done. I lied...I cheated... and deceived alot of people. I deserve what I got. Exile. Hated. It goes on. But I aparently have one thing still... the main thing i dont deserve. Your Love. Even through all that I have done you say you still love me. Even the thing with Jen. I have not talked to her since before Eric spread the word.. but I think she knows. Kristen both of you deserve better.
The net ruins your life... rping.. net lives and dateing.. it sucks you in and dosent let go. The Truth is Eric freed me. Kristen. I love you with all of my heart. And so I offer you this advice. Let me go... let your online life and freinds go and live in reality. Ive recently found truth in the words "Life is what you make of it." I wish I could tell jen.. ray and all my other former freinds this. Kristen.. I love you.. but.. this is the closure you wanted.
Goodbye Kristen...
~fin~
"Fin"? Take it easy, Frenchie. And while your fat friend over here tries to eat the ropes -He leaps upwards to stretch out horizontally, grasping Kristens neck in both arms, only to fall to the mat, bringing her face-first into the canvas. He stands up, shaking his head at the fat fuck in the corner, just making his way back up the ramp. He holds both of his arms out horizontally, shrugging his shoulders- Still owned, FiFi.
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Post by Xfee on Feb 18, 2005 3:24:13 GMT -5
Just piece of something I found...
Th3 6reat 0ne: -He continues to walk around, a confused look on his face- Who in the -hell- are you? Is that you, Pat? Are you pissed off because of the whole Pampers/Clearasil thing? All I hear is "Eric-ites" and constant references to me and women. Are you one of those chicks I wouldn't sleep with, and now can't leave me alone because of how badly you feel rejected? Jesus, put your purse away, and find someone else to stalk. You think you know everything about me, about the alcohol thing, and you're just bringing up something that has been done for almost a year now. "I read somewhere that Matt--" You read it somewhere? You also read about all my relationships, all my fights, all that crap. Do you want me to sign your hand or something, or do you want to continue being a moron? You're obviously infatuated with me more than any of these people you claim that are, and you apparently will go to any length to find me. Here, I'll sign something for you. -He grabs one of his old t-shirts, signing "Keep it real: The Great One" right on the front- There, go brag to your friends and tell them more stories about me. fucking kids.
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